OK, I went to the soccer store near my apartment, because I was sure there was going to be a post-World Cup clearance sale (there was). I ordered an Arjen Robben Netherlands jersey and I bought a nice-looking Steven Gerrard poster. Or at least I thought I did. When I got home and unrolled it, it actually featured an image of El-Hadji Diouf with the same "You'll Never Walk Alone" motto printed across the bottom. There are less appealing ex-Liverpool players I can think of with which to adorn my walls (this means you, Michael Owen), but not many. Diouf is not only one of a long line of high-profile failed Liverpool striker transfers, but he's also described in his Soccernet player bio as a quote "pathological expectorator." That's quite a label to carry around with you.
So, the store was nice enough to give me the Gerrard poster, but since I'd already taken Diouf out of his plastic tube and unrolled him, they figured I might as well keep that poster as well. I had wallspace already cleared out for Stevie G, but I now face a rare and unexpected quandary. What on earth am I going to do with a free El-Hadji Diouf poster?
And then it struck me. I'll shuffle around the posters in the hall leading to my bathroom (a Big Lebowski one-sheet and some of the most choice selections from my bottomless collection of Hanniganalia) and start my own Hall of Spit! I'll need Roberto Alomar, obviously, French goalkeeper Fabien Barthez, Jeremy Roenick, Keith Hernandez. Rasheed Wallace has to have spit on a ref at some point or another, right? What about Randy Moss? If you google "referee spit" the majority of the first several pages of results are incidents from soccer. "Umpire spit" is Alomar's exclusive province.
If you can recall an incident of a player in any sport hocking a loogy at an official, opponent, teammate, coach, or fan, please share! My bare hallway walls await your counsel.