Why do they print the Sunday papers so thick? So there's room for the comics, the mattress ads, and piling on poor Colorado. Woody Paige as usual takes the donut with a rambling column that does mention the interesting fact that the Rockies close the season at the Mets, where they could well challenge that franchise's record for all-time futility. He also coins a lot of nicknames that I won't repeat. Don't you either.

"There's only one minor flaw in O'Dowd's brilliant plan," Paige writes, "it won't work." Which one? Why not? What would you suggest? But he stops flogging that dolphin to go work over the Yankees some, which is kind of like abandoning the shooting of fish in a barrel in favor of clubbing them. Dan O'Dowd's plan (this year) is to lose with lots of rookies. Right? You'd have to be a fool (or one of the owners) to think they were actually supposed to contend this season. So if you want to make fun of the Yankees, go ahead, but leave the Rockies out of it -- this is positive bleeding here out west. Or at least offer some suggestions as to what you the newspaper columnist/television personality would do different.

Also in the Post: A Mike Klis piece that says something with which we can all agree, that the Rockies hit way too many groundballs. (I predict this will be the first part of a three-parter, the second section concerning how the starters walk too many, and the third revealing that the bullpen isn't very good.) They may play terrible baseball, but their mothers love them.

On to MLB.com, where the man with the least rewarding job in pro baseball, Bob Apodaca, has some stale wisdom about throwin' 'em in there, takin' 'em one at a time, and just tryin' to help the ol' ball team. Also: Matt Holliday's mom.

As for the opposition, catcher Paul Lo Duca had Giacomo in the Derby. He has not yet announced plans to use his winnings to cover the Marlins' new stadium shortfall.