Clint Barmes jerseys unavailable! Rockies merchandise czars afraid #12 custom shirts will not arrive until after inexplicable hot start comes to inevitable end!

Columnist makes fun of Rockies rebuilding plan! Look, smart guy: you know why the Rockies aren't as good as the Diamondbacks? Because they signed Curt Schilling and Randy Johnson and we signed Mike Hampton and Denny Neagle. The D-Backs were able to trade those two guys for value, while we have to pay Hampton to play for another team and Neagle not to play at all. Simple as that. Besides, the Diamondbacks aren't that good!

Bob McClure is next Leo Mazzone! Or not!

Stupid trade suggestion: Preston Wilson for Jorge Julio. What does a team that will be lucky to win 60 games need with a second-rate closer? Unless the Rockies  planned to spin Julio off on a team closer to contending (like the frantic Cubs, who may play themselves right out of the trade market the way they're going), this makes no sense for either team. The Orioles are going to need all the bullpen arms they can hold on to when their starters start turning back into pumpkins, and Julio despite his youth will be a fifth-year arbitration player after this season. Pass.

Clint's college coach: "His word is like iron." And his gaze is like steel, and his bald head is blinding! He's a superhero, but you can't buy his costume yet.

Completely off-topic, but cause of much rejoicing here at TGTBATB Central: Jason Bateman confirms that "Arrested Development," the best non-baseball-related show on TV, has been renewed for a third season. STEVE HOLT!