I'm sitting and watching the Rockies game on TV and realizing that it's been more than a week since I was able to do this. Hi, guys, I missed you. It'd be a good time to start winning games again if that'd be okay with you. Why did Dontrelle Willis pick this game to get back on track? Couldn't he have waited one more start?

There has been some static lately over a story in USA Today regarding the prevalence of Christians in the Rockies clubhouse. The Denver Post says that the story is inaccurate and misleading. (Apparently the Rockies do read girlie magazines.) Bernie Lincicome seems angry. I'm not for sure, because like most of Bernie's columns, I couldn't make it all of the way through this one.

Do you guys watch "South Park?" Have you seen the episode where Stan's grandfather wants the boys to help him kill himself? They go and ask for advice on this difficult issue from all of the authority figures in town. Their parents, their teacher. They even call up Jesus himself. As far as the Rockies Revival is concerned, I'm taking the same position as the Big Man. I'm not touching this one with a forty-foot pole.