Baseball Toaster Bad Altitude
Two Brief Items
2006-08-02 13:21
by Mark T.R. Donohue

Every game that I attend in person, I hope to see some kind of history made. I long for triple plays. I hold my breath until each team has recorded its first hit. When I was living in Chicago I traveled to Milwaukee two nights in a row hoping to see Barry Bonds hit his 700th. (He waited until he got back to San Francisco.) I realize it's highly likely that I've already witnessed the rarest thing I will ever see at a baseball game -- Mark Bellhorn hitting home runs from opposite sides of the plate in a single inning for the Cubs against the Brewers in 2002. But I hold out hope every time I make it to the stadium that something still weirder will happen. I didn't know until I got home and read about it, but the Rockies-Brewers (again with Milwaukee) game I went to on Monday night was the shortest nine-inning game in Coors Field history. So that's pretty cool.

Most of the other trade deadline recap columns I've read haven't even viewed the Rockies-Royals four-player swap as worthy of mentioning. But SI's Tom Verducci called Jeremy Affeldt the second-biggest short-run acquisition of the deadline, after only Bobby Abreu. Well, that's what's great about the Internet, there's so many people writing on it that you're sure to find at least one crazy.

You should, however, immediately lower your opinion of any baseball scribe who calls any team in the NL West besides Colorado the one with the best pitching. The Rockies lost yet another game in which they got an outstanding start yesterday as Josh Fogg went down 1-0 to Dave Bush and the Brewers. And now Jeff Cirillo is squawking about the humidor. Does anybody care what Jeff Cirillo thinks? No. No one does. Shut up, Jeff.

2006-08-02 13:47:04
1.   Bob Timmermann
I'm detecting an undercurrent of dislike for Cirillo among Rockies fans.

Or maybe it's more of a tsunami of dislike.

2006-08-02 14:10:19
2.   Mark T.R. Donohue
You'd think if anyone had a right to hate him it would be Mariners fans. Cirillo wasn't good for the Rockies, but he was unspeakably bad in Seattle. Plus Seattle sent Brian Fuentes to Colorado to acquire him, and look how that turned out.

But yes, considering how briefly he was with the Rockies organization and how generic the Colorado teams for whom he played were, Jeff Cirillo really rubbed Rockies fans the wrong way. You can be a moron and not suck, or suck and not be a moron, but being a moron and sucking? Unforgivable combo.

2006-08-02 14:16:39
3.   Kels
I've already expressed my disHATE for Jeffery in another Toaster post….but what the hell, I've got more hate in me…

Dear Jeffery "Why am I still around" Cirillo,

Ok, this is what we are going to do; you are going to take BP without a helmet. Affedlt then gets to hit you twice in the temple, once with a "Spongy" baseball from the humidor, and once with one of your "normal" Brewer balls. And you are going to report back with how they felt, ok? And we'll repeat the test in the following locations, knee, lower back, middle back, ribs, groin, wrist, and nose.

If you still think the humidor balls feel "Spongy", I will be forced to agree with you.

Your buddy,


2006-08-03 01:36:11
4.   ralfthewiseandpowerful
Jeff Cirillo, did any player who wasn't on steriods enjoy the pitching shortage of the mid-to-late 90s more than he did? Only Mike Lansing made more money being a 3rd rate player than Cirillo...
2006-08-03 16:38:50
5.   gabe
What a not jub. Between the Coorspiracy and how awful he is at baseball, that guy doesn't deserve to talk in front of the media.

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