Baseball Toaster was unplugged on February 4, 2009.
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What is this? What is this? No, seriously, what IS this? I thought I moved away from Chicago to get baseball like this out of my life. The Rockies have suffered more gut-wrenching, knee-jerk, eye-gouging, wall-punching choke jobs on this single road trip than it seems like I just read about in Sports Illustrated's nifty piece on 125 years of Philadelphia Phillies baseball. Stop me if you've heard this one before: Troy Tulowitzki hits a homer in extra innings to put the Rockies in the lead, then Brian Fuentes with a huge helping hand from brain-dead Colorado defense blows it in the bottom of the inning. It happened in Toronto a week ago to begin this losing streak and it happened again in Houston tonight.
This team is worse than one that's just incompetent. It's one that runs screaming as if set ablaze from the tiniest suggestion of success. Just a few short days ago we were talking about the best sustained stretch of Rockies play since the 1995 Wild Card year. Now we are unquestionably talking about the worst. I want to take the rest of my season tickets out behind my apartment with a bucket of gasoline and burn them in the shape of a pentagram or something. This is absurd.
In all my years of watching major league baseball, I have NEVER seen something like this happen three times within a week, with the same player (Tulo) trying to prop this group of LOSERS on his shoulders, only to have them cut him off at the knees every time. Unprecidented. Put a fork in Colorado. NO team recovers from a road trip like this.
I should have warned you this was a strong possibility.
Now they're playing EVEN WORSE than they were before. So, I'm publicly swearing them off again, in the hopes that something will shake loose.
I haven't listened to any of the games in Chicago or Houston.
I've got discount vouchers from King Soopers that are going to go unredeemed until the Rockies win at least 2 series in a row.
And it's not like I have unrealistic expectations of winning 100 games or going to the World Series. All I wanted from the Rockies this year was a .500 record.
Oh, and #2, you've got that right. Poor ol' Tulo is trying his level best and they're making him look like a chump.
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