No, wait. That's not true. I wanted to tell myself for days it wasn't going to be Boston meeting the Rockies in the World Series, but I knew, somewhere inside, that it had to be the case. This remarkable season certainly could not come to a close without me personally facing perhaps my greatest demon when it comes to Rockies baseball.
The Rockies have a nickname -- no, wait, scratch that. Certain people, who are fools, or running low on column width, or both, have long referred to the Colorado major league franchise by a stupid, lame-sounding and ugly-looking diminutive that happens to share two letters with the second word in "Red Sox." In two years of Bad Altitude and the one on the MLBlogs site before that, I have never used this horrible term. I'm certainly not about to use it now. Suffice it to say that it seems like the name of a crummy low-level minor league team that isn't even in a large enough town to have a single city name, instead using a directional (West Tennessee), a region (Tri-City), or heaven help us, a slash (Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, yikes). Denver is not a minor league city (anymore), and among the 90's expansion franchises their given name is by far the most reasonable and classy. Colorado Rockies: Sure, a team named that could win the World Series and Ban Johnson wouldn't roll over in his grave. But Colorado R**? Please. It sounds like the name of an ill-conceived state tourism campaign. Or a shoddy Fort Collins KISS tribute band.
And now we're going to have what headline writers are going to be completely unable to resist referring to in shorthand as the "Sox-R**" World Series. And the notion is even now some time before the fact preventing me from sleeping. Josh Beckett? Beckett we can handle. Big Papi? We have two nasty southpaws in the bullpen and three starters with no fear of lefty sluggers. Manny Ramirez? I would not be in the least surprised to hear tomorrow that Man-Ram is terrified of being eaten by mountain lions and is refusing to make the trip west for Games 3, 4, and 5. And even if he does, I don't fear him.
But boy, I freaking hate "R**." I hope this doesn't spoil the whole World Series for me.